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Understanding and Addressing Financial Abuse in Intimate Relationships

At Romer Maud Family Lawyers, we are deeply committed to upholding our values of kindness, family, equality, transformation and celebration. These principles guide our work and shape our approach to family law. This month, we wanted to address a critical issue that affects many relationships: financial abuse. For our latest blog, written by our Principal Aimee Maud, here is deep-dive into understanding and addressing financial abuse in intimate relationships.

What is Financial Abuse?

Financial abuse is a form of domestic abuse where one partner exerts control over the other’s financial resources and economic independence. It can manifest in various ways, including:

Restricting access to money
Controlling financial decisions
Manipulating financial resources to maintain power and control

What are the impacts of Financial Abuse?

Financial abuse can have profound and lasting effects on individuals and families. It often leaves victims feeling trapped and powerless, as they struggle with financial insecurity and dependency. Some consequences of financial abuse can include:

Economic Dependency: This is when you become financially dependent on your abuser, making it difficult to leave the relationship or regain financial stability.
Emotional and Psychological Harm: The stress and isolation from financial abuse can lead to significant emotional and psychological harm. It can affect your self-esteem, sense of worth, and your feelings of agency about your future.
Long-Term Financial Consequences: You may face long-term financial challenges from experiencing financial abuse, such as damaged credit scores, loss of assets, or difficulty securing employment due to gaps in work history.

An important note about Family Violence:

Financial abuse is often experienced together with other forms of family violence, such as attempts to control your social life, work life or relationships with friends and family.

It is common to also experience emotional abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse and forms of stalking and monitoring (such as via your phone or other IT devices).

How to identify Financial Abuse

Recognising financial abuse is the first step toward addressing it. Here are some signs that may indicate you are experiencing financial abuse:

Control Over Finances: Your partner controls the financial decisions and restricts access to money. Often, they will fail to include you in financial decisions or ignore your input. Your partner might not share banking passwords or bank statements with you. You may have little idea what household funds are being spent on, or your general financial position as an individual or family. You might be made to feel guilty for asking to know more about your family’s finances.
Monitoring Spending: Your partner closely monitors and questions your expenditure, often in relation to trivial or essential items such as purchase of personal hygiene products, clothes and household items.
Withholding Funds: The abuser withholds money for basic necessities or refuses to provide adequate financial support for you or your children. This often continues past the point of separation.
Manipulating Financial Resources: Your partner may use financial resources to manipulate or coerce you, such as accumulating debt in your name, which you are unable to pay off by yourself.

How to address Financial Abuse

If you or someone you know is experiencing financial abuse, it’s important to take steps to address the situation:

Seek Legal Advice Early: Consult with a family lawyer to understand your rights and options. You can do this before you separate, or as soon as possible thereafter. Family lawyers can provide guidance on how to protect your financial interests, and take legal action, if necessary, to ensure you have the money you need to be independent in the post-separation period.

Create a Safety Plan: Engage with a Family Violence Service such as Safe Steps, Orange Door, or Centre for Non-Violence. They can offer resources, counselling, and assistance in navigating the complexities of financial abuse. They can also help develop a plan to ensure your safety and financial security. This may include opening a separate bank account, securing personal identification documents, and making copies of any financial documents you can get access to.

Document Everything: Keep detailed records of financial transactions, communications, and any instances of abuse. This documentation can be crucial for legal proceedings and financial recovery. NOTE: if you don’t have access to these documents or it would be unsafe to attempt this, do not worry – there are other ways we can get access to these documents for you, such as making a formal demand for financial disclosure, obtaining court orders, or issuing subpoena.

Build Financial Independence: Take steps to build your financial independence, such as seeking employment, education, or training opportunities to improve your financial situation.

What are your rights?

Our clients often find the following information reassuring and helpful when experiencing financial abuse:

If you don’t have money to pay a lawyer up-front, don’t worry – there are fantastic legal finance options available, and no up-front fees. We can walk you through these options at a first appointment.

As part of the process of property settlement, your ex-spouse will be required to make full disclosure of all their assets, liabilities and financial resources. If they fail to comply, a Court will order them to do so. Penalties apply if your ex refuses to comply with Court orders.

Even if you have not been the primary income earner in the relationship, you are still entitled to a share of the joint assets.

In some cases, if you are likely to have primary care of the children after separation or have a lower income earning capacity than your spouse, you may be entitled to more than 50% of the assets of the relationship. We can help you assess whether this is likely to be the case in your particular circumstances.

If debt has been accrued in your sole name during the relationship, this does not necessarily mean that you have to remain liable for that debt after separation – many debts can be paid off by selling joint assets as part of a property settlement, or you can obtain orders or sign a Financial Agreement which provides for your ex-spouse to be liable for the debts.

Interim financial support is available for you if you are in the early stages of separation or already separated. In some cases, you may be eligible for spousal maintenance payments or an interim property settlement, ensuring that you have sufficient funds to meet your needs whilst going through the process of negotiating or litigating a financial settlement.

Just because you are not paying the mortgage, does not mean you have to move out of the family home after separation, particularly if you are caring for children! There are avenues available to help you remain in the family home pending final settlement, and to have your ex-spouse meet the costs of the mortgage and other expenses.

You are likely to be eligible for a Superannuation Split, which is where you will receive an amount of Superannuation rolled over from your partner’s Super Fund, into your Super Fund.

Our commitment to support

At Romer Maud, our aim is to help individuals and families overcome these challenges and achieve a sense of security and empowerment. It might seem like a long road, but we are here to help you through every step. Although the examples mentioned in this blog are general rules that apply to family law matters, it is important to seek advice for your specific circumstances.

We offer a free 15-minute appointment to get to know us, or a paid 45-minute appointment for a reduced rate of $195 if you require more detailed advice. To book either of these appointments, visit our website here.

About The Author - Aimee Maud

Aimee is a dedicated Family Law attorney and founding partner at Romer Maud Family Lawyers, practicing since 2014. She provides her clients with both legal and emotional support, emphasizing open, trust-based relationships to navigate divorce, property, and parenting cases. An advocate for collaborative practice, Aimee is also involved in environmental efforts, aspiring to reduce her carbon footprint and is enthusiastic about sustainable living. Balancing her professional role with her personal life, she enjoys motherhood, outdoor activities, and is a committed member of her local community.

*This post is an overview only and should not be considered as legal advice. If there are any matters that you would like us to advise you on, then please contact us.

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      Excellent rating  
 Based on 79 reviews 
    
  
 
 
      Disappointing experience, especially because when choosing a lawyer I read so many positive reviews for this company.
From the beginning, I felt unsupported and as though my matter was not genuinely being progressed. Despite paying for legal fees when necessary, I saw little to no meaningful progress and ultimately felt that my matter went nowhere.

The other party was repeatedly able to not respond, and I felt there were limited options or consequences available to move things forward, even in light of previous court arrangements.
I understand that solicitors cannot control the other party or guarantee an outcome. However, I expected clear communication, genuine support and reasonable efforts to progress my matter, particularly when ongoing concerns and behaviours were being raised. Instead, I was left feeling unheard, frustrated and out of pocket, with no meaningful change to the parenting arrangements and continuing difficulties around communication and parenting responsibilities.

I also questioned whether my age affected my experience, although I cannot say that this was the case. I simply hope that being a younger client did not influence the level of attention or support I received, as I was still a paying customer seeking legal assistance.

Alison and Seren both seemed lovely on a personal level, but unfortunately I was left feeling that my matter was not a priority. Overall, I unfortunately would not choose to use this firm again.
I will add though, Seren understood my circumstances and worked with me to ensure I could afford each step of the process, it’s just unfortunate nothing more could be achieved with the obvious act of neglect from the other party.
     
   Tameka Bickford 
 27 September 2026
 
 
 
 
    Would highly recommend using there services.
     
   Amanda Britton 
 1 September 2026
 
 
 
 
    Very Helpful with lots of information regarding our requirements. Also very professional in the manner they conducted the teams meeting.
     
   Jimmy Lewis 
 30 July 2026
 
 
 
 
    Best lawyers in Melbourne thank you Durra
     
   raf kiswani 
 1 July 2026
 
 
 
 
    Highly recommend Romer Maud for their legal expertise in family law and professionalism, but equally their care and support throughout the process - in particular Emina Hiddick who was an absolute rock and guiding light throughout, always patient, responsive and generous with her time, knowledge of the legal system and advice. I felt confident and fortunate to have Emina representing me and helping me navigate a challenging time.
     
   Sara Newman 
 25 May 2026
 
 
 
 
    I had such wonderful support through one of the most difficult times of my life from Emina at Romero Maud Family Lawyers. She handled my case with kindness and respect and was able to guide me whilst also allowing my to maintain my core goals and outcomes. Would highly highly recommend.
     
   Belinda Dixon 
 29 April 2026
 
 
 
 
    Seren from Romer Maud was absolutely amazing. She was professional, supportive, and genuinely cared about getting the best outcome for me and my daughter.

She made a stressful process much easier and kept everything clear and straightforward. I’m so grateful for her help and highly recommend her to anyone needing a family lawyer.

Thank you so much Seren and the team at Romer Maud, we couldn't of done it without you.
     
   Glenn 
 29 April 2026
 
 
 
 
    Communication was not effective I was confused about my situation and after taking their first appointment I didn’t felt like I have been heard or suggested what would be my next steps
     
   Sravya Raavi 
 29 April 2026
 
 
 
 
    In response to the comment from Romer Maud below - I use a pseudonym online, the reason for which should be plainly obvious especially to you given what you’ve been privy to of my situation. The fact that you cannot recall a 22 month long separation which you were part of says it all really. I have included more than enough specific details that the case should be obvious to you. I was not your client, my previous partner was. However we were both massively negatively impacted on every level by your ineptitude, highlighted here by the very fact you’ve no recollection even of the case, that only concluded in April of this year.

My original review post:
At every point where an agreement should have been reached, this firm failed to effectively guide their client toward resolution. As a result, the separation was unnecessarily prolonged.

This was not over a complex or high-value asset pool. It was modest, and the limitations were clear, if not from their client, then certainly from the accurate information repeatedly provided by my lawyer and barrister.

Their approach cost both their client and myself over $50,000 each in unnecessary legal fees.

They provided incorrect advice regarding financial separation and were unable to manage their client’s expectations. At mediation, my barrister (with 20+ years’ experience) had to explain, in front of one of this firm partners and their junior barrister, what a court would consider fair and reasonable.

Even after eight hours of negotiation that day (which they only attended because their client failed to appear), no agreement was reached.

Ultimately, their client accepted an offer I had made two years earlier, before lawyers were involved, based on my own accurate research. By that point, we had spent over $50,000 each and endured 22 months of entirely avoidable litigation.

Our combined legal fees equated to roughly one-fifth of the asset pool, with this firm’s fees representing more than one-third of their client’s share. The cost of reaching agreement was excessive.

For nearly two years, they allowed their client to believe they were entitled to far more than a court would award. We came close to a final trial, a costly and stressful outcome we narrowly avoided.

Their conduct prolonged financial limbo and, in my view, enabled ongoing financial abuse. The court was aware of this.

It is unclear whether this reflects inexperience, an inability to manage difficult clients, or prioritisation of fees over resolution. Regardless, the outcome was the same: delay, cost and psychological distress.

If this firm represents you or your ex, expect prolonged timelines, significant legal costs, and repeated inaccuracies in correspondence and financials. I routinely had to pay my lawyer to correct their errors.

They operated on a deferred payment model, taking fees from their client’s settlement. This likely reduced their client’s awareness of escalating costs. In contrast, I paid regularly, making the financial impact of litigation immediate.

Following mediation, progress improved slightly (though settlement still took another five months), likely once the financial reality became clear they would not be paid appropriately for a final trial out of their clients realistic share of the asset pool.

Communication was consistently delayed, court ordered deadlines were never respected and responses were often almost always incomplete or incorrect.

Even post-settlement, finalisation of court-ordered matters was delayed by SIX months. I had to re-engage my lawyer just to obtain responses and ultimately complete required work myself to ensure compliance after this firm sent confirmation that proved their client lodged a highly questionable tax return, attempting to avoid paying CGT entirely, which was outside what was legally required.

I strongly recommend avoiding this firm. If they are acting for your ex, be prepared for an unnecessarily prolonged and costly process.
     
   Lucky Leonard 
 28 April 2026
 
 
 
 
    Very professional and lovely to speak to, gave me confidence to move forward knowing they will support me all the way
     
   Kris Balfour 
 31 March 2026